


don't want no other shade of blue (but you)

by combustible



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Florist Oikawa Tooru, Implied Osaaka, Kozume Kenma/Iwaizumi Hajime, M/M, Mention of Past Suicide Attempt, Multi, Potter Kageyama Tobio, Sculptor Miya Atsumu, Somehow a flowershop AU where they make a lot of coffee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:54:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26160703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/combustible/pseuds/combustible
Summary: “Are you a zombie?” Kageyama asks.“What the hell?”“If you’re half dead, it would make sense that we lost our ability to see some colours.”Or a Soulmate AU where everything is black and white till you meet your soulmate (and everything goes back to being black and white when they die)
Relationships: Kageyama Tobio/Miya Atsumu, Kageyama Tobio/Miya Atsumu/Oikawa Tooru, Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru, Miya Atsumu/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 13
Kudos: 414





	don't want no other shade of blue (but you)

**Author's Note:**

> hello beautiful people,
> 
> this is my take on a polyamorous soulmate au bc ive been into atsuoikage for weeks now and i finally have time to write,
> 
> tw for one mention of a past suicide attempt, though.
> 
> i hope you'll like it!!

_and when i felt like i was an old cardigan_

_under someone's bed ._

_you put me on and said i was your_

_favorite._

_._

_So that's what the sky looks like,_ is the first thing Oikawa thinks when he meets Kageyama Tobio. 

His hands are full of dirt, buried deep inside the soil caged in a clay pot, when the familiar _gling_ makes his head shoot up. It takes only a second for his eyes to meet the stranger’s deep blue ones. There’s no smile on his lips, no relief on his face. He stares, and stares, and stares, and Oikawa has thousands of thoughts flashing in his brain.

Is Tooru the only one witnessing his whole world burst into colours? 

(Very unlikely)

Does he think Oikawa is ugly? 

(That’s impossible)

Is he _straight?_

(Possible)

Is he already in a relationship? 

(Please, god, no)

He’s lived for twenty-three years without seeing any colour, just like many other humans. It’s not unusual for people to never meet their soulmates, or to meet them once they’re already married, parents, heartbroken. It’s not unusual for fate to make mistakes, or for humans to give her the middle finger. 

But Oikawa Tooru is nothing if not a hopeless romantic, and when Iwaizumi finds love in the unexpected person of Kozume Kenma, Tooru finds himself yearning for the person who will give him exactly what he's looking for. He’s seen his best friend fall in love slowly but surely with the shy filmmaker, and seen said shy filmmaker fall in love just as much with the co-owner of his flower shop.

“Uhm- Do you-” _Do you see it too?_ The visitor asks but only the beginning of his sentence gets out.

Oikawa looks around him, eyes wide as he smiles at the blues erupting around him, through the windows, in the other man’s eyes, on flowers he’s been selling without knowing what colour they were. He smiles at the greens on the leaves of the peace lily he’s repotting. It takes a few instants for him to find the right words, to get his thoughts back in order as he takes the new view in.

“Are you seeing them too?” He asks, just to make sure. It’s rare, but it happens, sometimes. Fate can be cruel. 

The stranger -no, his _soulmate_ \- nods and crosses the gap between them, coming closer (finally), standing in front of the counter with a small smile. Oikawa smiles right back, all teeth and charisma as he extends his right hand in a too polite manner. The other man squeezes his hand and his fingers are long and delicate, cold and smooth, perfect. And if he gets dirt on his milky skin in the process, he doesn’t seem to mind because he’s still observing Oikawa with a weird pensive expression, like he’s trying to decide if he should run away or stay. 

“I’m Kageyama, Kageyama Tobio.”

“And I’m Oikawa Tooru.”

“Nice to finally meet you.”

“Likewise.”

It’s awkward, to think about the implications of all of this, but in the end, it feels _right._ There’s a weird sense of familiarity in the shy smile on Kageyama’s lips, in the depth of his eyes and his overall calming aura. And even though Kageyama doesn’t seem like the type to talk a lot, there’s warmth in his eyes, an amused light in the deep oceanic orbs. And for the first time, Oikawa can say he _really_ likes somebody’s eyes. 

“I- I’m actually here to uhm- I was wondering if you would be interested in making a deal with me. I really like your succulent arrangements and I wanted to make personalized pots for them? I have a small online business and I make ceramic mugs and plates and I was thinking about making pots for your plants. So I could sell my pots with your plants in them and you could do the same? If you’d like?”

Oikawa looks at him with a look of total adoration, not even really listening anymore. Who can still think about _business_ when their soulmate is standing there, in front of them, looking as attractive as ever? Certainly not Oikawa. And he knows every single thought going through his mind is clearly showing on his face, but he truly doesn’t care. Because this guy, _his soulmate,_ is, not only really pretty, but more than that, he’s a _potter._

Is there anything sexier than people who spend the day covered in dirt to create delicate objects? Oikawa doesn’t think so. 

“Wait I have- uhm.” Kageyama reaches the inside of his jacket to get his phone. He unlocks it, but not before Oikawa can take a look at his lock screen. Thankfully, it’s only a digital drawing of two flying crows. _Emo_ , but no sign of any romantic partner. So it’s a good sign. “I have pictures of the things I make.”

He hands him the device, avoiding Oikawa’s careful eyes as he swipes through the pictures. 

“It’s the first time I actually see the colours I use on my creations,” he says with a small smile, eyes wide as he looks at the pictures, like he’s seeing his own creations for the first time. “I usually use whatever colour sounds good to me, but now that I can see them-”

He swipes through the pictures, and there are mugs, plates, pots, big and small, mostly white with stains of many shades of colours, mainly dark blues, greens, but a lot of them are black, grey. 

“It’s weird, I have this whole collection which is supposed to be blue.” 

Oikawa looks at the screen, then at Kageyama, and tilts his head as he stares back at the screen. 

“Yeah, these ones are blue? This paint stain is of the same colour as the sky? So I believe it’s what people call blue?”

“But it’s grey? I don’t- I-” He looks at Oikawa in confusion, point at his head, “your hair are brown, like the counter. The leaves are green because that’s the colour of plants, and these flowers are yellow because they’re sunflowers. But these ones are still grey,” Kageyama says as he points at very _blue_ flowers.

Oikawa’s eyes drop on the counter, and he blinks, blinks again, three times, then he stares at the sunflowers and suddenly stops breathing. They’re all grey, still grey, very much colourless. He hadn’t noticed before, simply thinking his counter was actually grey, but if Kageyama says it’s brown, then-

“What the fuck?”

“What-”

“I can’t see yellows. Or browns.”

“But you can see blues?”

“Yes, I see the sky, and your eyes, and the paint you used on your mug.”

“It’s weird.”

Their eyes meet again, maybe waiting for _something,_ anything, to happen. Maybe if they wait for another hour, the missing colours would finally fade in, maybe they just need time?

But they both know it is very unlikely.

“Are you a zombie?” Kageyama asks.

“What the hell?”

“If you’re half dead, it would make sense that we lost our ability to see some colours.”

Oikawa stares again, harder this time. It’s far-fetched, but it would make sense?

“I- uh- I actually had a near-death experience when I was younger, I fell into a lake and I was dead for a few minutes.”

“Maybe that’s the reason.”

“But what about you?”

If all colours eventually fade out once your soulmate dies, it would mean that they are both _zombies_. And Kageyama’s eyes immediately drop to the floor, making Oikawa wonder. He puts his phone back in his pocket and sighs.

“Maybe we should- Do you want to grab a coffee with me later?”

Oikawa tilts his head slowly, considering insisting for a moment, but decides it’s better to only nod. It’s a discussion they should have in private. Discovering who your soulmate is shouldn’t be done with a counter sitting between the both you, in the middle of your workplace. Especially if your hands are deep in some wet dirt. But thankfully, they both happen to like dirt enough to work with it on a regular basis.

“I have a break in an hour.”

“I can wait until then.”

“Yeah, we can go to my apartment, I live upstairs.”

“Sounds good.”

“I’ll see you in an hour then?” 

Kageyama smiles and nods before taking his leave without another glance behind him. Oikawa keeps staring at him until he disappears on the other side of the street, heart racing at a thousand miles an hour. He wipes his hand on a towel and puts the repotted peace lily back on the right side of the counter. He doesn’t waste any more second and grabs his phone from his back pocket, dialling Iwaizumi’s number that he now knows by heart.

“What do you want?”

“Iwa-chan, you will _never_ believe what happened!”

“Did you break another broom?”

Oikawa groans and falls right into the trap.

“No! And I wasn’t me, I told you it was Matsu!”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“No, no I swear!”

“Mmh. Yeah. So, what do you want?”

“I met my soulmate!”

There a few seconds of silence on the other side of the line before Iwaizumi’s voice finally comes, loudly, from the speakers.

“What?”

“Yeah, this _guy_ -Kageyama, he came to the shop a few minutes ago and when our eyes met I- I could see the sky! Blue is such a nice colour!”

“Yeah it is,” and he can hear the fond smile in Iwaizumi’s voice, probably remembering the first time he got to see the infinity of the blue sky above his head. It makes him a bit sad for Kageyama, to know he can’t see this.

“And then he told me he wanted to ask me for a partnership between our two shops because he’s a _potter_ , Iwa-chan, he’s a **potter** , he makes mugs and plates and plant pots! I think I’m in _love_ already!”

Of course, it’s too soon to tell, but there’s nothing that screams _no_ in Kageyama’s behaviour, so Oikawa can let himself dream, imagining these _slender and very agile fingers all over his body_.

“Also, he’s cute.”

“Ohhh, what does he look like?”

“He’s _tall_ and he has the prettiest eyes, every, deep blue and- oh, he can’t see blue.” Oikawa tries to be as natural as possible, but Iwaizumi is obviously not buying it.

“What?”

“He can’t see blues, but he can see yellows and greens? And I can’t see yellows or browns? He thinks it might be because I almost died, you know? When we were seven and we wanted to catch that idiotic blue bug?”

“Mh. That would make sense. But it’s still weird. Maybe you should see a doctor about that.”

“We’re meeting in an hour for coffee to _talk_.”

“Mmh.”

“We need to get to know each other before _that_ , Iwa-chan you pervert!”

“Not knowing the other person never stopped you before.”

“He’s my _soulmate_ , I’m not heartless.”

“I know, I know. Well, once you know more about him, tell him I’d be happy to drag Kenma on a double date!”

“I’ll ask him.”

“And try to set an appointment with a specialist, it’s weird that you can’t see every colour. I’ve never heard of that before.”

“Don’t worry for me Iwa-chan, I’m sure you’re still handsome, even in colour.”

He gets two more customers before the clock finally shows _five pm_ and he can switch the sign on the door to _closed._ He almost jumps at the door when his day is over. Not that he’s usually happy to leave the flower shop -he _does_ love his job- but today, he can’t wait for the clock hand to reach the big _12._

Only a minute passes before the door opens again to let Kageyama enter. He’s wearing a trench coat now, giving him a more serious look than the sport jacket he was wearing before (maybe he should have done it the other way around if he had wanted to close a deal with Oikawa, but whatever). He smiles and there’s a fire in his eyes, something that wasn’t there before, a determination that screams _I won’t back down_ , but from what, Oikawa doesn’t know.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“I have a coffee machine upstairs if you’re okay with that?”

“Yeah that’s fine.”

Oikawa grabs his coat from the backroom and throws it on his shoulder before leading the way towards the stairs. It’s a large flat, big enough for him, his plants and his occasional one-night stands. 

“How do you like your coffee?” and if the question sounds innocent, they both know it is not. There’s an expectation behind Oikawa’s words and Kageyama seems to notice it immediately. 

“Black, preferably strong.”

“Good.”

“I have nothing against milk in my coffee, though.”

“I have oat milk if you want,” Oikawa is indeed _one of these guys_ -he owns a flower shop and his soulmate is a potter after all. 

“No, strong and black is fine.”

“Nice.”

He starts grinding the coffee grains as Kageyama leaves his bag and his shoes in front of the door to go sit on the sofa, his eyes wandering around the room.

“I’m still not accustomed to these new colours.”

“Me neither. I think I’m getting a migraine.”

“Maybe you need glasses.”

“Oh, I have glasses, I just don’t wear them when I’m working, I only need them when I’m tired.”

“I bet you look good with glasses.”

Oikawa stops his hand midway as he was going to turn on the coffee machine. Did Kageyama just _compliment_ him? Not that it’s weird. It’s definitely not. But it’s- different. It’s not like the compliments he gets from other potential partners. No, this guy is his _soulmate._

“I- Do you want to see them?” he swallows harshly as he watches the dark water drip in the small glass cup. 

“Why not?”

Oikawa smiles and hands his cup to Kageyama before reaching under the coffee table, easily finding the glass box. Unlike what his friend say, his flat is actually neatly organized. Call him a perfectionist, but for someone who works with dirt and stones all the time, his place is always clean. He puts his glasses on, blinks twice and looks at Kageyama who’s watching him with a look of pure concentration. 

“I was right.”

“Of course, I _always_ look good!” Oikawa laughs, but he quickly looks the other way, trying to hide his blush. And it’s like he’s seventeen again with no sexual experience whatsoever. 

“You do, you really are a handsome man.”

“You’re flattering me, Tobio-chan! Is Tobio-chan good with you?”

“I- uh- Yeah?”

“You’ll get used to it! You can call me Tooru, we’re soulmates after all!”

Kageyama smiles again, shy in the way he tries to hide it, slightly blushing, looking in front of him but definitely not at Oikawa. They’re soulmates, that’s true. But they’re still total _strangers._

The potter tells him he’s two years younger than him, that he studied law before dropping out and starting his own business. He lives a few blocks away from there but he’s been looking at the flower shop for a few weeks now, drawn in by some sort of _force_ and Oikawa wants to say it’s _fate_ but he doesn’t know if Kageyama is a believer or not.

He’s quite the introvert, but he’s fine with it. Most of his friends are other artists and craftsmen. His best friend is a painter with a chef for a soulmate. He’s scared of water, and Oikawa finds it interesting considering he himself almost died in a lake. 

“What about you?”

He tells him he studied biology for some time before opening the shop with three other friends. He talks about Iwaizumi, Matsukawa and Hanamaki, the fact that they’ve all met their soulmates already, leaving Oikawa alone with his loneliness. He tells him about his many _many_ meaningless one-night stands, because Kageyama deserves to know. And if he’s surprised or disgusted, he doesn’t show it. He only nods and smiles at the floor. 

So, Oikawa goes on, he talks about his love for plants, how he _believes_ they can talk to him, how he understands their language. He tells him he loves his coffee strong with a lot of milk (and Kageyama gasps at that revelation), that he took some classes to become a barista before admitting the food field wasn’t made for him. 

“And like I said, the way I almost died was rather idiotic. I was chasing a blue bug with Iwaizumi. We were seven years old and I fell in that lake. When Iwa-chan came back with some help, I had been dead for a few seconds already but they managed to bring me back.”

He doesn't ask _what about you,_ but the question is obvious in the way he doesn’t continue to speak, and the silence grows thick between them.

Kageyama stiffens, inhales and stares at the TV in front of them. 

“I tried to kill myself.” He finally says, and if his voice wavers at the end, it doesn’t break. “Law school was hard and I made me lose whatever amount of self love I had left after high school- And it just spiralled from there. It’s not something I’m proud of, but it happened so- Yeah. My roommate found me but it was too late, until they managed to get me back.”

Oikawa stares for a moment. There’s nothing ideal to answer to this kind of revelation. Nothing _right._ No ‘I’m sorry’s and no ‘It’s okay now’s will ever be enough. So he tentatively puts his hand on Kageyama’s with a small, reassuring smile. And the younger man smiles back, it’s sadder, this time, but still sincere, as he intertwines their fingers. 

“I’m glad you’re here.”

“I am too.” 

They remain silent for a moment, lost in their own thoughts before Oikawa finally whispers.

“My favourite dessert is lemon pie.”

“Mine is scones.”

“Scones?”

“Scones.”

“Scones…”

Who even likes scones? Oikawa asks himself, and maybe it’s the weirdest thing he’s learned about Kageyama yet. And the guy might be damaged, the fact that he can’t see blues and reds might be an eternal reminder of his own past choices, but he will be there to remind him he still got to see many _many_ other colours. 

.

It’s strange, how easy it is for Oikawa to get used to Kageyama’s awkwardness. They don’t fall in love in one day, and it’s far from being immediate, but they get there eventually. There’s no big demonstration of affection, no serenade, or expensive dates. But they share regular movie nights, comfortable silences and easy dates over the flower shop counter. Kageyama teaches him how to make mugs from raw clay and Oikawa saves his dying clusia. They go on dates with Kenma and Iwaizumi and it doesn’t even feel weird to watch Kageyama and Kenma click almost instantly.

"It wasn't love at first sight for us either," Kenma admits to Kageyama one day, as Iwaizumi is competing against Oikawa in a Mario Quart contest that Kenma has volunteered to stay out of.

"When did it come?"

It's not that he doesn't _like_ Oikawa. But he sure as hell doesn't love him.

"It took me by surprise."

He doesn't love him. Yet.

"I looked at him one day and realized I was in love with him. Just like that."

They'll get there. Eventually.

.

It's the way Oikawa fills his daily life with small plants, the way Oikawa teaches him how to make good coffee, how to kiss and let go, even ever so slightly. It's the way one day, Tobio finds himself leaning towards the other man without even thinking about it. It's the way their mouths find each other, naturally. 

But more than the little things, it's the way Oikawa brings out the best parts of every person he meets that makes Tobio fall. He's a proud man, a smart one. He gives and he takes, perfectly balanced, with perfect emotional supports. He's full of bruises and weaknesses, he's only human, and Tobio discovers this the hard way. 

At first, he pictures Oikawa as a perfect man, popular, with many friends, loved by all, even by plants and rocks.

Until one day, he doesn't show up to one of their dates. 

It takes Tobio a few days to gather the courage to knock on his apartment door. But he does so, eventually. And maybe that's the sign he's been waiting for, the sign that means _I do care about this man_.

"Tooru?" he asks from the door. 

And surprisingly, Oikawa opens the door. The first sign that _he's alive_ in almost an entire week.

"Tobio."

He looks bad. With swollen eyes and a fragile pose. He looks so much smaller than usual, with his XL yellow hoodie and his gray sweatpants. 

"I-"

Kageyama's never been good at dealing with emotions. They both know it. So Oikawa opens the door just a bit more, letting the younger man step inside in a silent invitation.

"I'll explain, please sit. Do you want a coffee?"

"A tea maybe?" 

"Mmh"

As the water boils, Oikawa sits next to him, carefully avoiding his eyes. Something unusual enough for Tobio to notice.

"I've been thinking about how we can't see every colour. Let's say I've been _over_ thinking it. It's- It's something I can't help. Sometimes I just think too much and I just don't have the energy to- to- _do anything_."

Tobio nods. Because frankly, it's the only thing he can do.

"I thought, maybe we can't see them because.. Because I'm not enough? Because I'm an idiot who couldn't watch my steps and fell into that lake. Because I'm just- cursed and it's not fair that you have to suffer through it and-"

"If you're an idiot for falling into that lake, what does that make me?" He knows his words are _harsh_ , painful. But he can't stop them from leaving his mouth.

"Oh. Yeah." Oikawa sighs. "It's not- it's not rational, it's just my brain. I'm sorry."

"I would date you even if all I could see were shades of grey. I just don't think you would have paid any attention to me."

Tooru looks at him for a second and brings his hand to Kageyama's cheek, shy and trembling for the first time since they've met.

"Oh Tobio, you have no idea the effect you can have on people."

It takes time. But eventually, they get there.

.

It’s Kageyama who meets _him_ first. He’s wandering in the city when he walks past a window and his eyes catch the sight of the back of a blond man with broad shoulders. He doesn’t think twice before entering the room, and the bell makes a _gling_ sound, making the other man turn around. 

It’s less sensational than the first time, because he can already see enough colours for his vision to not _explode_ , but surely, his entire world shifts slightly at the sight of the man. He’s got his hands on a tall statue. _A sculptor_ , Kageyama realizes as he lets his eyes wander around the room, letting the new colours sink in. 

New colours.

 _Oh_.

He turns around and looks through the window, and finally, _finally,_ he can see the sky.

“Uhm- Can you see them too?” The raspy voice of the sculptor comes from behind him, and _of course_ , Kageyama would forget to introduce himself.

“Uhm- yeah.” He smiles and shakes the other man’s hand, in a very similar way to what Oikawa had done. The other man really ended up influencing him.

“I’m Miya Atsumu. You can call my Atsumu, considering-”

“I’m Kageyama Tobio. You can call me Tobio if you want.”

It’s polite and the smile on Atsumu’s lips remind him a lot of OIkawa’s own, cheeky and arrogant, but hesitant enough to show sincerity. 

“Do you see every colour?”

Kageyama asks in one single breath, silently praying for a no.

“Uh- I- The sky still looks the same, but the walls are of a different colour than before.”

Kageyama smiles. Maybe it has nothing to do with them almost dying. As he looks at the bluest sky he’s ever seen, he knows this isn’t a cruel way for fate to punish him for his past choices. It doesn’t have anything to do with Oikawa’s accident, or his own suicide attempt. Their persistent shades of greys weren’t due to half of their souls being gone, and he can feel a weight being lifted off his shoulders. He wants to call Oikawa, to yell to the world that he’s not being _punished_ , that it’s just the contrary, that fate didn’t give him one, but _two_ soulmates, that he isn’t cursed, but rather, the luckiest man ever.

“Yeah, I- uh. Okay, so I could only see some colours before a few minutes ago, and it’s the same for my- _partner._ ”

“Oh, you already-”

Atsumu looks disappointed, but Kageyama lets his hand land on his arm in a reassuring gesture (and he realizes he's totally mimicking Tooru's own behaviour)

“Yeah, we’re soulmates, but- we were incomplete. I couldn’t see blues before I entered this place, and I bet you won’t be able to see them before you meet Tooru.”

Atsumu tilts his head and smiles softly. It's easier to welcome someone new in your life when you already have a pillar supporting you, Kageyama thinks. He watches the man go around his shop, his blond hair bouncing as he moves around. 

He has a different kind of beauty. Where Oikawa is celestial, Atsumu looks more grounded, more earthy. He could eat the world raw and is unapologetic about it. Kageyama already likes this about him. He is as solid as the statues he carves, marble witnesses of their time on earth. 

"Let me just close the shop and we can go meet this third guy! Unless you don't want me to?" 

Kageyama stares at him for a second, registering exactly what Atsumu had just said. 

He could almost see the intricacies of Atsumu's mind unraveling in front of his eyes. In the few months he has been acquainted with Oikawa, he's learnt many things on _non verbal communication_. Not that he would use it himself (he's a pretty straightforward person, if you ask him). 

"Of course I want you to meet him. Let me call him and we can go grab a coffee at his place if that's okay with you?"

"Yeah," Atsumu says, in one single breath like he's still trying to wrap his head around the (unbelievable) thought that he has not only one but _two_ soulmates.

Kageya smiles shyly and takes his phone.

"Good afternoon Tobio-kun!" 

"Are you free in the next hour?"

"Always for you. I'll call Iwa-chan." 

"I'll meet you at the flower shop."

"See you!" Of course he sings the end of the _you_ in the annoying way that Tobio has learnt to love.

.

Atsumu, Tobio finds out, is a solar human being in a similar way to Hinata. He's blond, of course (but that doesn't mean anything because Tsukishima is blond and the less sunny person he knows, with his _buried-deep-in-the-ground-like-an-old-root_ vibe), but he's also very much alive. He's warm, and he makes Tobio's head spin. 

They walk side by side and he could swear the man is _radiating_ chaotic energy. But chaos is a source of warmth (be it in war, in science or in bed) so Tobio gladly accepts it.

"Tobio!" Oikawa welcomes him with a kiss on the cheek, soft and warm and Kageyama immediately feels himself relax under the familiar touch.

"Hello," he whispers back, entering the flat, Atsumu behind him.

"Hello?" the blond man says, "nice to meet you, I am Miya-" And Tobio can pinpoint the exact moment when their eyes meet because Atsumu goes completely still, ending his sentence in a whisper. "-Atsumu" he finishes, but he's not even sure Oikawa has heard him.

"I-"

"Tobio do you-"

"Yeah."

"Wow."

He can see every single thought that goes through Tooru's mind. Because they are the same as the ones that have travelled through his own brain since he's met Atsumu.

_I'm not deviant._

_I'm not broken._

_Maybe I'm not enough._

_But it also means I deserve to be loved by more than one person._

_I'm finally complete._

_I'm not broken._

_I'm not broken._

"We're not broken," Oikawa whispers, eyes going from Tobio to Atsumu. 

"We're not," Tobio agrees.

And although Atsumu can't really _understand_ , he still accepts Oikawa's embrace, and he's even the one who pulls Tobio in, between them, squished between their warm bodies. And for the first time, Tobio feels truly warm, oh so warm.

.

"Of course you would need at least two people to deal with your sorry ass," is the first thing Osamu tells Atsumu when he calls him and blurts out ' _I met my soulmates. There are two of them_.'

"Shut up."

"You're going to try something?"

It's not a secret that Osamu never does what is expected from him if he doesn't want to. ' _I'm not gonna let the universe tell me who I belong with._ ' Osamu had said once. With this, he had found his soulmate, got his colours, and fucked off to go and date someone else. 

But contrary to popular belief, Atsumu's not the same as Osamu, and he's by far the most romantic one of the two.

"Probably. We'll see where this goes."

.

Tooru is an interesting man, proud and full of internal injuries. It takes longer for him to fall for Atsumu than for Kageyama. Maybe because he hits too close to home, because his struggles mirror his own in a too painful way.

He takes his coffee with no milk and two spoonfuls of sugar. The worst kind of coffee drinker. 

And Tobio adopts him almost immediately. 

Atsumu is demanding but more than that, he's unapologetic in the way he asks and asks and asks, takes without giving anything in return. There are no cracks in his bravado. And Oikawa envies him for it. 

Maybe soulmates are bullshit. 

Maybe he was a mistake in this equation, maybe Atsumu and Tobio were the ones made for each other. Maybe Tooru was only a bridge between the two of them. Maybe-

"I can see you overthinking, Tooru," Atsumu says one day as he puts two awful spoonfuls of sugar in his mug.

They're hanging out at Tooru's, waiting for Tobio to join them. 

"If you don't want me here, you can just say so."

Tooru _hmpfs_ from the couch but Atsumu has lived with Osamu for twenty years which means he's too familiar with meaningful _hmpfs_ , with the way brow movement can mean just as much as words, the way lips don't have to move a lot to say things.

"I don't particularly believe in soulmates," Atsumu explains. They've never had this discussion. He likes Tobio well enough to see himself fall for him, but he thinks he owes Oikawa at least that: a way out. "My parents aren't soulmates. My brother basically gave his soulmate the middle finger and chose his own boyfriend. I know seeing colours don't always mean being loved."

"You like Tobio well enough."

"And so do you. But I am talking about us, you and me."

Atsumu is bold, he's smart and fast and overwhelming. Kageyama is bold, but he doesn't _know_ he is. Atsumu reflects on his options and goes for the boldest one. Oikawa is bold, he's smart, fast, overwhelming. But he regrets his decisions as soon as he makes them. Atsumu is unapologetic. And Oikawa doesn't know how to forgive himself.

"I don't hate you," Oikawa finally admits.

"I don't hate you either."

"I don't like you either."

"Fair enough."

"But I want to like you."

Atsumu smiles at this and takes a sip at his terrible drink.

"You're an overthinker. I lived with one for twenty years of my life." And he's glad Osamu has finally found himself someone who could _understand_ him, stand next to him through storms and earthquakes. Maybe, just maybe, he wants to be that for Tooru too. "You can tell me stuff, even the irrational stuff, you can tell me when you think you're not enough, when you think you're a piece of shit because you put 3 spoons of sugar instead of 2 in my coffee. Talk to me Tooru, and I'll show you that you're enough."

"But-"

"Is it _me_ you have a problem with?"

Atsumu is bold, messy, demanding and vulgar at times. Atsumu is bright, Atsumu oversleeps, Atsumu takes too much space on the bed. Atsumu is proud and unforgiving. He's everything Oikawa is, but so much more too. Which means he's also everything Oikawa is not.

"No."

"It's _you_ you have a problem with, Tooru. But neither Tobio, nor myself, have a problem with you."

"But what if- What if he doesn't love me anymore."

"What if the sun explodes tomorrow and we all die?"

Oikawa laughs a bit at that.

"With _ifs_ you could put Tokyo in a bottle of sake."

"I guess you're right."

He doesn't hate Atsumu, definitely not.

He doesn't like him either.

But that doesn't mean it won't ever happen.

.

Atsumu's _'You're overthinking'_ comments become a constant in his life, something he ends up getting used to in the weirdest ways possible. 

It's Atsumu who sits down with him after a long day, it's Atsumu who makes him _talk_ . About anything and everything. Tooru is not a very _silent_ person, but he uses sarcasm a lot, he's the king of irony and Atsumu isn't buying it. 

He becomes his friend before he becomes his lover. And before Tooru even notices it, Atsumu becomes the first person he goes to when he needs reassurance. There's something strong in this man, something that he's only ever found in Iwaizumi (and later, he'll find out that Osamu is made of the similar flesh).

"Listen, I know I can't make the voices in your head shut up, but I can try to scream louder than them," Atsumu says one day.

"Please," Oikawa breathes out, after a long, long, exhausting day of having to deal with his own head. 

With Tobio, love is easy. It comes slowly, surely. It's obvious and gradual. Tobio loves him silently, takes his hand and puts his head on his thighs to make the pain go away. He grounds him physically and loves him unconditionally. But with Atsumu, love comes like a realization, almost like a curse. One day, they're friends who only happen to be soulmates. The next one, they're soulmates who happen to be friends too. 

In that moment, when Atsumu looks at him like he _understands_ , like he can hear every single haunting thought that's ever crossed his mind and shows him he's going to fight them anyway, Oikawa feels himself fall.

Their first kiss is everything both of them are to the core. Pushy, demanding, passionate. It's almost violent in the way their teeth clash, but their fingers are soft, loving, against each other's skin. 

Atsumu takes him to bed only to kiss his forehead. Tooru eventually learns that it's something that he usually does to Tobio, before they fall asleep. They love each other too, very much so, and it doesn't take time for Tooru to claim the place that is rightfully his next to them. 

"Maybe we should date," Oikawa suggests the next day, when he wakes up and Atsumu is already there, in his kitchen, stealing his coffee.

"Yeah, we should."

It's not as easy as it is with Tobio. They're two natural forces that are bound to clash. 

But for now, they're willing to learn. And that's enough.

.

"Hey asshole," Osamu greets him.

"Yes, Tsumu?"

"You met your soulmate when we were in highschool."

"I did."

"So you did see the colour of my hair."

"Yes."

"And you didn't bother telling me it looked like piss."

"I didn't."

Atsumu hangs up.

.

When it's Atsumu's turn to feel sad, he finds himself squished between his boyfriends, in a tight, warm hug. He learns that he doesn't have to be strong all the time. That they'll catch him when he falls too.

They all move in Oikawa's flat, fill his shop with handmade pots, throw away his IKEA mugs and make new ones that come in all shapes and forms. Atsumu even gifts him a small sculpture of a cactus to put next to his register. 

They're _boyfriends_ now. And to them, it means more than being soulmates. 

"What's a soulmate anyway?" Atsumu laughs one day, long after they've met.

And as he drinks his awfully sweet coffee in a handmade ceramic cup with little doodles of yellow and blue peace lilies on it, he knows the universe _sometimes_ does things the right way.

But a soulmate is anything you want it to be. Make it a friend, a partner, a stranger. It's not the universe who's going to tell you _this person is perfect for you_. 

You're the only one who can decide that, Atsumu thinks.

But he's glad they've decided that the universe was right this time, though. 

**Author's Note:**

> [twitter](https://twitter.com/yootasuke).
> 
> some additional notes, first of all i hope you liked this,  
> i had a lot more to write but no time to write everything i had in mind,  
> i havent been clear about osamu's relationships but in my mind, his soulmate is suna but he chose to date akaashi instead.  
> i might write something about their relationship in this universe because i like the idea of non-soulmates dating despite knowing who their soulmate is,  
> fuck the universe is becoming my motto.
> 
> (i might write a second chapter on the three of them actually being together bc i just noticed that ive talked about them as 3 different pairs more than one entity)


End file.
